You've already gotten some great advice here but I'll piggyback on a couple. I, too, use Roxanne needles usually #11 or #12. You definitely need the Roxanne threaders if you're going to use the #12's as other wired needle threaders are too thick to get through the eye. I will bend one every once in a while but not too often. I agree that the issue seems to be the large eye needle. I hated those things! I also use a (now) metal ThimbleLady thimble on my pushing (middle) finger. They have much deeper dimples than most thimbles and the open end makes them, for me, quite comfortable to wear. I would destroy the leather thimbles doing cross-stitch so can you imagine quilting???? ThimbleLady has plastic versions and a very good measuring explanation if you want to try them. I started with that to see if I liked them. Then upgraded to the stainless steel version. Still quite affordable compared to some. Hoop/frame tension might be an issue for you as well. Looser equals better. I use the rubber finger tips found in office supply stores on my index finger for pulling. This way I'm not stopping to pick up/put down all the time. It does help quite a bit but occassionally still need to use needle nose pliers. They are a godsend.