It doesn't sound to me like you feel you are even qualified to quilt this very personal custom quilt. I'd just tell your friend that you're not comfortable doing that kind of work, but possibly leave the door open for work that's simpler if she's in a bind. She should be getting quotes from pros in the area and letting her customer decide among them for both price and quality. It just doesn't sound like the kind of quilt that should be done "on the cheap".