Here's a picture of the back of one of mine. You can see it good! If you scroll down, you can see the same stitches on the front (can't see it as well.)
http://www.quiltingboard.com/picture...h-t162720.html
I think they way you're describing it is the way I do it. I never "stab" myself underneath, I just use my thumb to feel if the needle is there or not. I usually load 3-4 stitches on the needle and you can tell by how thick each little stitch on the needle is if it's got what it needs! You can also "scratch" the needle under the quilt while it's loaded and feel the needle between fabric. I hope this makes sense. Just kind of run your fingernail across the needle, and you can feel if it went through or not. It's a lot easier to pull the needle out and do it again than pick out stitches!