I understand what you are going through. I went through the same thing. In 2001, 5days before we were to go to China on a trip, I had to have my Golden" Cashel" put to sleep because of cancer. My daughter was going to take care of her and I had to make the sad decision to put her to sleep as it wasn't fair to my daughter if anything happened while we were on the trip. I cried several times during the trip because I knew she wouldn't be there when we came home.I didn't know it at the time but my husband had given orders to my daughters to find a female Golden Retriever puppy by time we come home.We walked in at 10pm and I was presented with my Golden" Keva"Since then we got a Rescue dog "Orla". Everyone should have a dog.