Ditter43

Holy Humor


GOOD SAMARITAN
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story of the Good
Samaritan.
She asked the class, "If you saw a person lying on the roadside, all
wounded and bleeding, what would you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke
the hushed silence,
"I think I'd throw up.."



DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of
fishing when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied Johnny. "How could he,
with just two worms."



THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class memorize one of
the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23. She gave the
youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick was excited about
the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm. After much practice,
he could barely get past the first line. On the day that the kids were
scheduled to recite Psalm 23 in front of the
congregation, Ricky was so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up
to the microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd, and that's
all I need to know."



UNANSWERED PRAYER
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her father always paused
and bowed his head for a moment before starting his sermon. One day, she
asked him why. "Well, Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so
observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good
sermon." "How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.



BEING THANKFUL
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your mother says your
prayers for you each night? That's very commendable. What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"



ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every
family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past).. For
several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would
say, "And all girls." This soon became part of her nightly routine, to
include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her,
"Kelli, why do you always add the part about
all girls?" Her response, "Because everybody always finish their prayers
by saying 'All Men'!"



SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his
Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food
was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started
eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer." said
his mother. "I don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do" his
mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before eating at our house."
"That's at our house." Johnny explained. "But this is Grandma's house
and she knows how to cook.