I haven't a clue how to help you with stabilizers etc.
I like stripes. You have to cut careful, but you can do some neat things with them - not that I'm suggesting this but I've done a test of HSTs with the stripes alternating direction. It was interesting.
As for including your friend - you may have to do the designing and sewing but she could help cut off buttons, pull seams, iron, organize. As you stitch a block or whatever, she could cut the block and then iron the seam. She could also give you valuable input into how it looks etc.
I wish you a great deal of luck and hope we can see the finished project!