Absolutely fascinating! I say (or sigh) these all the time, and your definitions are exactly what I mean!
It goes both ways, though, with a few slight differences.
Five Minutes: If he is "using" the bathroom, it will be when he finishes the "article" he's "reading" - and not before. You might as well change into the other outfit you were considering wearing; you'll have time.
Nothing: Could mean the same as when a woman says it, could mean he has a secret.
Thanks: This does not mean he feels gratitude. The expression "to give thanks" comes from this. He feels that by thanking you, he has given you a verbal gift, and you are now in his debt - and he will call it in.