Everose yes our family does know how to push our buttons. People who have never cared for an elderly person have no idea how draining it is. I went to my FIL house 2 days a week, my 2 SIL did the other days caring for him for 2 months while the non helping family members decided what to do. Finally the 3 of us got together and made our own decision. I was dropping him off a dialysis 3 mornings a week at 5 AM before I went to work. At the time I was able to shift my schedule to take the 2 days to care for him.It meant working Saturday night and Sunday morning. Another SIL who wasn't helping still isn't speaking to us 4 years later for putting him in a care facility. You know better than anyone what needs to be done. You need to care for yourself. My prayers are with you for your decision.
I think I will try to join the virtual quilt in today.