Thank you all so much for the words. It has been a huge adjustment. Things will get worse. My SIL beat the tar out of the four year old and there is a lot of emotional effects from that. I've suspected he has been hurting him for two years but never left marks. I'm a retired teacher and you learn behaviors kids develop when abused and he as had those. The pieces just weren't falling into place. He has a criminal trial in October and the best thing that could happen is for him to be sent to prison for several years. I know I am the most stable, positive person in their lives right now.