If it is really that bad I suppose I would take it out and start over. Whether you want to tell her of your disappointment or not is up to you. I assume you are out some cash, but unless you tell her of your disappointment you can't get reimbursed. In reality, she should know of your disappointment, you could tell her gently and explain what parts of it make you unhappy.
I have ripped out plenty of stitching I have done when doing my own longarm work and have never regretted doing it, as once I did rip it out and redid the designs to my satisfaction I once again loved the quilt. Good luck deciding what to do. If I lived near you I would offer to come and help you rip it out. :-))
If you do decide to rip it out, I am sure that your board member friend will be happy to re-do the quilt to your satisfaction.