I always wash my quilts when finished, partly to get rid of the starch that I use while quilting, partly to be sure the color and seams hold, and partly because I just love seeing it nice and clean and finished! I don't use fabric softener but there's no reason you shouldn't, if you use it in your regular wash. I used to use it all the time, but then Costco started carrying a different type, and it was scented, and I hated the strong scent, so I stopped using it. I found out that I didn't miss it, so that's one less thing I have to buy. More money for fabric?