I have enjoyed reading everyone's post on this subject.
My four adult children love my quilts. They each have a lap quilt that they use. This year for Christmas they will all receive a queen size quilt. My 2 SILs like theirs. I've made wall hangings for them and they are displayed. My youngest son is not very careful with things and I knew he would use his for camping so I made it with cotton/poly and polyester batting to be more durable and washable and tied it. My daughters wanted Christmas quilts so they are big enough for lap quilts but also have a sleeve so they can hang them.
My grandson has 4 quilts I have made him. He is 7. One was very involved for his bed. Two were for laying on the floor etc. One was for his teddy bear. Every time he comes to visit and sees a new quilt in progress he asks if it is for him. (He loves getting them.)
I made one for my niece as a wedding gift and asked her mom about colors. I gave a sheet of care directions (ie. how to wash etc.) with it. She loved the quilt. When they moved into their first home they decorated their bedroom around the quilt. I received a beautiful note of thanks from them.
I make toddler quilts for my great nieces and nephews and tell them they are theirs to use as forts, for watching tv etc. My sister told me that her grand daughter took hers everywhere with her.
I made a baby quilt for my daughter's best friend and she said no one had ever done anything so nice for her, she hung it in the nursery. It was the 3rd quilt I ever made. Her daughter is now 12. It did get used but not the way I expected. As others have said we can't control how they are used once given.
My mom uses hers everyday on her bed. I make her window hangings for her front door. She can change them out. It keeps the drafts out of her house. She loves looking at them.
I guess I've been lucky. They have all been appreciated.
When I make one for my brother I will take into consideration that his dog gets on the bed so it will be very durable and washable. I know he will use it and appreciate it.
I think because we were encouraged as kids to make gifts for birthdays and Christmas my siblings appreciate homemade things and so do their children.