Baren*eh*ked_canadian We've been married for 35 years. When we first got married we did the same thing for several years. We would spend Christmas Eve with my parents and then drive the hour and a half to DHs parents for lunch on Christmas day. One year we stayed over night at my inlaws Christmas Eve and after opening presents( I packed all the kids' presents in the trunk of the car and took them up with us!) we then made a mad dash an hour and a half back to my mom and dad's for noon. So I know all about having to find a way to smooth the waters.
I have three kids. When Sara got married they came to us for all holidays as her inlaws had 5 kids and all of them went to inlaws on holidays leaving Betty and Cleo with noone. So we include them in all holidays making it easy for Sara and Ben to come to us. When Nathan got married his wife's family don't get together for Christmas and Thanksgiving they instead get together for Labor Day weekend and go to an amusement park instead. So that was not a problem. Then my youngest son got married and Angie's parents have big dinners and lots of family get togethers. So they have to do the one year with us and the next year with her family.
Nathan's wife gradually quit coming to any dinners. She would be sick or whatever and Nathan would come with the kids. Now they don't come at all. That is why they have Christmas dinner now and we go there. It is a compromise and it is always Christmas eve day not Christmas day. First Sara and then Nathan declared they were staying home on Christmas day so the kids didn't have to leave their presents. ( Won't tell you what I think of that!!)
When your family gets bigger you just have to find a way to compromise. I am happy to have just one dinner to prepare now and I am happy to go to my son's for Christmas. Easter was at my youngest son's but this last year we just didn't do anything. They were moving and my daughter can't have it as they live in an apartment with stairs and my DH can't do stairs.
My son Nathan did have us over for the 4th of July for a barbeque this year. That was fun. I don't have time to go their way much and Nathan and Cody are out of town alot on jobsites. So we don't see much of them otherwise.