We've been married over 55 years so holiday tradtions and meals have changed over the years. At first we lived near our families but most were spent with my family as my MIL didn't ever do any holidays, especially Christmas. She worked for the phone co. and said she wanted to be at work so people could call their familes to wish each other Merry Christmas, meanwhile that left my FIL and BIL alone for the day. After dinner at my parents we'd visit DH's family for coffee and cake in the evening after MIL got home from work. She began having Thanksgiving once in awhile but a day before one Thanksgiving I found out she cancelled dinner but didn't let us know. By that time we were living in Jersey about 1 hour away from family and I decided that was enough and we'd do holidays at home or with my parents as we felt like it.
Our 3 sons are all married and getting oldest son's wife to commit to a holiday dinner with us was always a problem, she kept hemming and hawing until the day was almost here. Found out after 20 years that she wanted to have all holidays with her parents. Other DIL's and I decided we'd share holidays, one year Thanksgiving would be spent together with one of us hosting and Christmas we'd do or go wherever we'd like on Christmas Day, the next year we'd change holidays. This has worked out very well for us. Oldest son and family are always invited but we no longer worry if they come or decline.
Thanksgiving is always turkey, stuffing, gravy, cranberry sauce, fresh cider from the farm, several veggie dishes, fruit and nuts and lots of good desserts and hot tea (whole family except DH and I are tea drinkers). Host family does the turkey, I usullay take a dip, veggie dish, sometimes butternut squash soup and a dessert. Maybe a roasted turkey breast if there is going to be a big crowd as DIL's also invite their siblings to some of our holiday dinners. Christmas tradtion has become a spiral ham with most of the Thanksgiving sides. Started this when DS#3 was married to Anita whose mother kept a kosher kitchen, no ham, but we all liked the ham and the easy of making it that it's become our Christmas dinner the past 10 years or so.
Gifts have changed over the years also. For years I used to give everyone a Wish List at Thanksgiving and that helped give me ideas for individual gifts. Grandkids are older and money is tighter, and I'm older and hate shopping the malls, so now each family gets a carton of steaks delivered right to their door, and everyone gets a 'little gift'. Last year all 9 grandkids got pjs. Picked up a cart at Kohl's, picked out a nice pair of pjs for each kid, then a little something for their parents and I had my most important gifts bought all in one fell swoop.
I also participate in a Cookie Exchange the Sunday before Thanksgiving. This year we're each making 10 dozen cookies, packed by the dozen. I save most of them for Thanksgiving dessert, or bring them to my cousin Toni's Turkey Soup and Sandwhich Party the day after Thanksgiving. We used to packed our cookies by the half dozen but most of us found that our family nibbled away at them so there were hardly any left to share with others.
Gee all this talk about food has made me hungry, so I'm leaving to eat my dinner. May in Jersey