12 years ago, after retirement, I began quilting. DH didn't say much, but then I started a water color quilt for one of our daughters and kept running into visual problems (dull areas, blends of color that just weren't right, etc.) and I started asking him for help. At first he panicked and denied he could help, but at my insistence (my distress got to him) he stood next to me upstairs and looked down on the quilt and suddenly he said "The upper right hand corner is dull, the rest of the quilt is so vibrant!" I almost fainted. And the doc says he is color blind in several colors! We've both come a long ways since then but I still need help. I'll leave my sewing room and say to him "consultation" and he gets up w/o any hesitation and look at my "problem" and we discuss it. Sometimes that helps me see what to do, but often it is DH that comes up with the solution.
When we both worked I did the cooking and most of the housework. We livedin the country and he did most of the heavy outdoors stuff and I did most of the indoors stuff. Now he does both those because I quilt (of course I help a little :>). I used to feel guilty, but he loves the fact that I quilt, that all the kids and gkids have quilts I have made for them (they are my best fans). Only in recent years have I begun to realize that I was NOT a good cook! Nutritious food, yes, yummy, no. And he loves to experiment with spices and mixing different things and has become a much better cook than I ever was! We live in an apartment now so his wood cutting days are over (he made that decision when he turned 75 and said "enough"!).
It is easy to wonder about other people's marriages. DH and I use the terms "please" and "excuse me" all the time. I complement him on the dinner he's cooked (unless I'm so tired my brain is dead), and he wanders into my quilt room and admires what I'm working on. More importantly for me he does the math when I have a cutting problem. Just yesterday he helped me figure out how to do a complex (for me) design. I don't use patterns, they cost too much and too often they just confuse me (I'm getting old!). At quilt stores he has gone from "I have no idea!" to "This fabric makes me think of Mary!" or "You don't have anything like this color." He's come a long ways! He promised me 50 years and we still have 10 to go. Think I'll keep him!