I have a daughter who is exactly that picky about quilts. I would make them pick out the quilt pattern and the fabric. Why go through all the effort of making a quilt that they probably will not even like much less ever use? In fact, the DIL-to-be may, when she has been in the family long enough, put the quilt in a garage sale. Many DIL's have done just that. That fact that you are making a quilt is no secret. You want it to be well received if not loved. Let them pick a pattern - the internet has thousands to choose from. Let them pick the fabric. If they don't live near you, they can send the name, manu. etc of fabric to you or use your credit card, buy it and mail it to you. Why go through the agony of choosing something when they are so picky and the choice seems doomed to failure?