I think some of the manuals/instruction books that come with the sewing machines have charts for what needle and thread to use with what fabrics.
I also find the numbering systems very confusing. I think there is some logic to them - but I don't know/remember what it is.
Examples: Sewing machine needles - the larger/higher the number, the bigger/thicker/stronger the needle
Hand sewing needles - the larger/higher the number, the thinner the shank of the needle.
I personally try to avoid using the heavier needles (anything over a 90/14) on anything except denim and/or canvas. I think they leave punch marks - but one has to do what works!