I think you have our permission to stop giving gifts to these particular relatives. This past summer I talked to my pastor about buying gifts for my adult children who have way too much of everything and can buy anything they want. I really don't like buying them gifts anymore, it seems to be more stressful each year. He told me it was fine to stop buying adult children gifts, so this year I made a large donation to charity. I also told them that I did not want any gifts as I was 'blessed' enough. Everyone was happy with my idea (probably not DIL) but that's OK. I am buying the 5 grandchildren gifts still but only until they are 21 years old, which isn't too far off. I usually bake cookies and banana bread and loads of candy to give away, but this year I did not do it. We were leaving town soon and my DH said I needed to rethink the baking also. It was very freeing for me and I had a great holiday season. I did give away some to a relative who is handicapped and can't fix it for herself, but that was all I did. I had a natural holiday this year.