LOL I have a slightly different version.....
Once upon a time there was a young woman with too much time on her hands between jobs so she went down to the community college and took a FREE class on hand piecing. She went down to the fabric store and purchased the basic requirements for the class then made the required blocks. She got tired of hand sewing and requested a sewing machine for a gift. She sashes everything and then takes a class on handquilting but can't decide how to quilt her top. Now, being a new quilter, she doesn't have a stash so people start to give her stuff because she'll know what to do with it.....orphan blocks, scraps, unwanted stash. She starts to buy fabric because how is she going to finish all those orphan blocks but doesn't have the fabric to match? While she's there she finds more projects to start. She lives a long way from a LQS (once she figures out they even exist) so she buys fabric online, which doesn't always match. She also discovers flickr groups, the QB swaps, and her local guild, which provides even more unrelated stash, project ideas, and orphan blocks. So, she finally joins a UFO group or two and hopes she'll finish more projects than she starts and maybe gets wiser about what she lets people give her.
Beth, I once lived in Eastern Washington and really enjoyed it. Now I live in Eastern Cali with very similar weather and culture....way better than the bay area....WA or CA either one.