It seems that there are several issues here:
Understanding and following the IRS rules on charitable deductions.
Feeling confident that the charity understands and follows the IRS rules.
Feeling confident that the charity and those volunteers and staff who handle the donations are honest and responsible in their care and distribution of donations.
Anaylsis of our own motivations in making and giving quilts and our expectations of the recipients.
Sometimes issues can get blurred, and we have to stop and look closely at what is the central problem.
Dayle