I, too, tend to have my shoulders near my ears when trying to FMQ. It's a constant issue of telling myself to drop them. I know I need to buy an adjustable table so I can lower the entire sewing surface. I haven't tried it but some people have suggested drinking a glass of wine and listening to soothing music while quilting. Maybe this is something you will have to build up to. Don't try to go longer than 15 minutes without taking a small break. Rotating your shoulders back and moving your neck carefully from side to side will help. Good luck!