Times are definitely changing. Gifts are now loot - don't spend time presenting in a beautiful package showing how much you cared to make it special - don't write a thank you to show how much you appreciate the thoughtfulness- just leave the loot so you can compare how you compete with the others. Will anyone wear anything remotely dressed up to show that a shower for this new mother is a special event or perhaps they are just stopping off before they go buy groceries or after they have been to the gym? I think I would decline and just send a check after the event, or perhaps just send a coupon good for some babysitting. I would enjoy the babysitting more than comparing the loot and if the coupon was used, I would probably get thanked.