You are me...or were...So much so that it has been 3 years since I started machine quilting...and I finally last night "got it"...and I only have domestic machines...I will say that I did just get the Janome Horizon 7700 machine...mainly for the 11" throat space and the fact that it will do more than just the straight stitch that my Brother PQ-1500 does...that being said, I must say the 1st time I tried fmq (just a simple meander stipple) with my Janome, it was way different than on my other machines...thread didn't pull, needle didn't break, no birds nesting or thread bunching...after 3 years I really almost fell out of the chair that it went as well as it did...Now I am certainly not saying that it was the machine that made it better...as operator error surely covers a lot of what I do...lol...but I can tell a big difference in the fmq with this machine.
Also, have you checked out Leah Day's website? She only quilts on a domestic...has stated several times she does not want a la...which is certainly a preference thing (in my case it is also a $$$$ thing....
, I did good to finally be able to purchase my Janome). Leah also has tons of videos, and fmq designs all free...check out her site and see what you think..
http://daystyledesigns.com/
Good luck,
Kif