that's a beautiful and extremely thoughtful idea.
use a Private Message to contact the individual quilters who identify themselves as family of deployed military. Let them decide whether or not to share his/her mailing address. Or whether to give you theirs so you can send things to be included in packages they are sending.
i would discourage any other method. there is at least one person here who sent a very negative and hurtful PM to a soldier's mom on this board. we don't want to give her or anybody else the opportunity to send hate directly to the soldiers.
let the Love flow ...
:P