Don't forget that unless it is in writing (ie a will) your wishes aren't binding. Add to that, people frequently forget what they are told. It can be especially difficult if the person that was told your wishes isn't the executor of your estate. I think it would be a very painful experience for both people to go to someone who is grieving and tell them they are supposed to give away a loved one's belongings. My dad wouldn't even let us kids touch my mom's things for long time after she died. Then when we did go through her quilting supplies I found a huge pile of signature blocks that were obviously for a swap with her guild. I wish I had known about them and could have finished the swap for her. She was also in the middle of a BOM with her guild, and had I known I might have been able to get the rest of the blocks. For some reason we discussed many of her own projects, but rarely her guild projects. Had she put in her will to contact someone in the guild to finish her commitments, it would have been done. But in my grief it never even entered my mind.