With me people get one chance to borrow and return. After that , FUHGEDDABOUTIT!!
I had one friend who borrowed a book, asked if she could loan it to her brother in Alaska (it was about Alaska), I said OK, and I DID get it back. So it can be done!
I find when you don't want to do something, like loan things out, pretend (if you have to) that you have had so many bad experiences in the past that you just never do it anymore. People can try to argue with you but they can't tell you you did not have bad experiences. Or if they say, "Well, I won't be like that..." answer, that is what they ALL said.