As far as 'etiquette/manners' go -
I think 'the nitty-gritty' things - such as how to hold one's fork, how to set a table, etc. - do have their place.
In my opinion - the circumstances surrounding an event do influence some of the nitty-gritty things (and some of those things - in my opinion - are as 'important' as a F**T in a tornado or hurricane)
W