Wow! So much has happened on this thread in a few days!!
I guess I had assumed the DIL was on board with this. I agree with the group that it could be dangerous to jump into this without her whole hearted approval.
I'm pretty sure I could hold a grudge against a mother-in-law that took over my wedding. Tread lightly. See what your son knows about this whole deal. Some times us girls complain the the guy about his mother.