I don't think that having the door held makes you weak or high maintenance, but at the same time, when a man holds the door it doesn't necessarily mean he respects you either.
She has to look at the overall picture.... he blew her off to go hang out with his cousins. Unless his cousins have been overseas for the last ten years and suddenly came back unannounced, then he's made his priorities pretty clear. And sadly, your daughter is far down on his list.
I wouldn't say anything to him until the next time he asks her out, at which point I'd simply say "not interested". I don't want to be put on a pedstal and worshipped, but I do want to know that I'm important, and really high on a man's list of priorities.