Okay, I am going to apologize ahead of time for the length of this post...I know no other way to do justice to my family's holiday traditions. (And believe me, I've shortened it up as much as I dare and still have it make sense!)
We've been married 26+ years and it has been tough to make our own way at the holidays. But we've managed the following:
Christmas Eve, we go to church services (hubby plays the piano at church and I direct the Christmas Choir), then out to my parents' farm for the extended family thing there. A great meal prepared by my Mom & Dad and we all bring something to add to the spread (I have 1 married brother and 1 married sister with a niece, plus my 3 girls, 1 son-in-law, 2 boyfriends, and 2 grandsons). Then we open gifts. LOTS of gifts. One at a time, youngest to oldest. And when someone runs out of presents at their turn, then they get a quart of sauerkraut that my sister and her husband put up each year. Yummy!
When we get home and unload the car, we traditionally turn on the Christmas tree and I would read "The Night Before Christmas." My 17-year-old still wants this tradition kept. Funny how traditions become embedded, isn't it?
Christmas Day, we always make a nice breakfast and the girls come home (except for the youngest who still lives here). We eat until we're stuffed, and then it's time to open more presents. Lots more presents!
Generally after that, the girls all go to the "inlaws/outlaws", and we settle in for a little rest. We would then go to my Grandmother's house to see all the cousins, Aunties, Uncles, etc. We would eat a great meal, then open gifts again. Since there were 5 kids (my Mom's generation), 17 grandchildren, and countless great- and great-great-grandchildren, each generation would draw names at Thanksgiving, so you would get 1 gift, plus something from my Grandparents.
My Grandfather died nearly 27 years ago, but we've continued this tradition. Last year, however, Grandma (who is now 98) decided to sell her house and go into a nursing home. Last Christmas was the last day that any of our family spent time at the house. We picked up what we wanted and took it as we left, per Grandma's instructions.
So this year, no trip to Great-Great-Grandma's house. We have arranged to have a room at the nursing home for 2 hours on Christmas Day so we can get together, but no kids under 12 (due to H1N1 flu virus and other illnesses).
And what do we do with my in-laws? Well, they head to Florida early (sometimes before Halloween), so we don't have to concern ourselves with that issue any more. We used to just squeeze them in somehow as they don't really have much in the way of family traditions for anything.
We also started a new tradition at our house last year: we were unable to all get together on Christmas, so we decided to come together for our immediate family celebration on New Year's Day. To make it more special, hubby and I bought "elf hats" for all the adults, and I made hats for the 2 grandbabies. Personalized them with our names in glitter on the brims. And we had a competition: each of my girls put their heads together to come up with a sauce for meatballs. Husband also made his version. We provided the meatballs. We all sat down and had scorecards for each. The winner got a tree ornament and an apron. This year, for NYD, we are going to have a pie contest. Since I am a professional baker, I am excluded, but my 3-year-old grandson and I will be the "top judges" for this competition. Everyone else will get to vote, but our votes carry the most weight.
Yes, we love the holidays at our house, and we even try to celebrate Hannukah (dreidles and menorahs at our house, too). Any reason to celebrate.
Take what you can from our holiday celebrations. And customize yours to something that you can still love. It's tough to lose a loved one, but you will find the strength to carry on. Maybe in another form, though.
Happy Holidays one and all!