I hear your pain! I'm currently quilting a queen size quilt, and my quilting plan was rapidly revised when I started actually shoving that thing through the machine. I don't know if this will help you, but here are some things that have helped me:
1. I roll up the extra part that I won't be quilting, cinnamon-roll style, and use extra strips of fabric and safety pins to hold it in place. I used to just roughly roll it, but doing it neatly and pinning has made things much, much easier. For the middle sections, this often involves two rolls - one on each side.
2. My biggest revelation - my machine quilts just fine in reverse! When I get to the corner of a star, I just angle slightly and carefully stitch backwards instead of turning the whole quilt roll. This only works if you can turn your reverse on and leave it there - if you have to hold a button down, it probably won't be worth trying. This took some practice, but now that I've figured it out, it's making things much easier.
3. Like PaperPrincess suggested, reconsider your feet. The 1/4" metal thingy will cause headaches; just use the edge of your regular foot, or the inside of your walking foot. I don't know if a walking foot would be compatible with sewing backwards, but a walking foot does make quilting easier for me.
4. Using a card table or tv tray to support the excess part of the quilt has been helpful as well. The weight of a quilt hanging down is substantial, so supporting it both behind and in front of my machine makes it a bit easier to control.
The best support I can actually give you, though, is just keep at it, take lots of breaks so that you're not too sore, and be proud of what you do, even if it's hard. In the end, I'm with you in only doing straight lines/crosshatching - it's so much easier!