sometimes washing helps a lot. i make my quilts to be used and washed, and have learned not to worry about them falling apart. i just finished a heavily quilted twin sized project made of linen, with a large backing piece of vintage poly bark cloth and that thing could have stood up on its own when i finished binding it.
i put it in the washing machine and laid it out to dry, and it's a lot softer and more supple that it was. because of the materials it will never be a cozy broken down cotton pile, but the person i made it for chose the fabrics based on design instead of cozy factors.
after years of looking at and studying quilts, i decided not to use poly bats thanks to bearding fears. experiment a bit and don't be afraid to wash your work. after all that thread work your quilts are unlikely to ravel!
good luck!
aileen