Make the quilt with love.... give it to her and let it go. Either you care enough about her to make one or it is more important how the quilt is cared for. I always appreciate it when someone I give a quilt to cares enough to take care of it. But when you give something away, it is no longer yours. It is the act of creating and giving that counts and not the how the person responds or how they use your gift. That is my 2 cents. (And oh yes, I do have lots of experience with the letting go and not always good results)