Originally Posted by
Rose_P
Okay, on the surface this sounds like a wonderful story, and I certainly hope it is true, but your family definitely needs some evidence that this person is on the up-and-up. Unless at very least some family member knew about the pregnancy, you, and especially his siblings, probably should insist on DNA evidence and/or should try to track down the birth and adoption records independently. A con man could be trying to finagle his way into your homes or hoping to get an inheritance. It never hurts to be cautious. Possibly the easiest thing to check out is proof that he really was a neurosurgeon. Consult the medical board in the state where he says he practiced. Also check about that bar exam. I hate to be negative, but he seems a little too good to be true! If he is telling the truth, he should not mind at all that people want verification. If he evades any questions or seems nervous or vague, you must go with extreme caution.
If he knew the parents' names he could surely have accomplished the goal of finding you 10-15 years ago, it seems to me. Also, most certainly if you, as a female relative, customarily use a name that you acquired by marriage, you have to wonder why he didn't first find and contact one of the male relatives.
I believe that in most places for many years now, before a divorce is granted there is a waiting period of several months. There are questions about the possibility of a pregnancy. After the waiting period both parties have to appear and sign papers. Divorce laws are written this way in an effort to protect the interest of children, including those not yet born. It probably would not have been that easy for your aunt to have a baby that her ex didn't know about, and then to give the baby up, the rights of both parents have to be severed. If a child is conceived during a marriage it is considered by law to be the father's child, whether this is true biologically or not. I can't begin to guess if this would have been true in every state 60 some years ago, but it seems like a good bet that it was probably true in most of them. Best wishes!
All he had was his mother's maiden name. He just recently got her married name, since she past not long after the divorce in an auto accident. He did use ancestry.com, and found me and the rest of us there. I am the only one who has first, middle, and and all married and maiden, last names on Facebook. That is why I was the first contact. He felt more confident that I was who he was seeking, and he was right. I have since contacted his sisters, and my other cousins. The one cousin with the means to go meet him, will be going next week. He plans to ask for DNA tests to be sure, but he knew his mother's maiden name most of his adult life. His adoptive mother remembered it from the court proceeding and gave him the information when he was a young man. His mother took her maiden name back after the divorce. My uncle raised the other four kids by himself. My new cousin had two brothers, but they are gone now, so all there is his 2 sisters, one aunt, one uncle, and all the cousins. He emailed me a picture of him and he has "Killgore" written all over his face. Not much doubt in my mind. As far as inheritance, there is none. His father was not a poor man, but by the time all the bills were paid off, nothing was left but his name.
I do appreciate your warning though. I do know we can't ever be too careful in this day and age. My cousin who will go meet him works for a DoD contractor. He has the ability to check backgrounds more thouroughly than the average person. I will keep you posted.