I agree with much of what you've said. I do try to remember that once I've given a gift, it's the recipient's choice as to what they do with it. If it's a handmade gift, I'd much rather they pass it along than stash it in a closet some place. I consider the recipient's style before making anything. Just because I like scrappy things doesn't mean everyone does! Same goes for bag styles, etc.
While I've always made quilts for baby gifts that are more toddler appropriate than babyish, it was recently pointed out to me that a lot of parents would prefer packges of diapers. Hmmm. Well, it's cheaper than making a quilt as well as faster and easier, so guess I'll have to give that some thought.