What horror stories! I feel for you all. I have always done crafts of some sort but not quilts until recently. I did cross stitch, plastic canvas and various hand crafts. I gave a lot to my MIL and Mother with two different results.
My MIL never used any of the things I did for her. When she went into a nursing home and we cleaned out her house all the things I had labored over were put away in her closet good as new. I never knew if she didn't like what I made or treasured them. Of course I took every last thing back and use a lot of the things in my home today. My FIL did use an afghan I made to take a nap (extra long) and loved it. My MIL actually kept it out in her livingroom.
My mother, on the other hand, gave everything away (made by me and family stuff) that I treasured before she died. I got nothing back.
I have since done quilts for my grand kids and great grand kids. I tied them all so they are pretty delicate but I thought they turned out great. I really don't ever want to know what has happened to any of them. I'm sure they will land someplace I wouldn't like. -( So... you never know what will happen to things you put your heart and soul into for others! Create, give, forget and create again.