Here are my rules:
I make utility quilts for other people. Beautiful/Special/Hard quilts I keep in my home to be willed to the recipient of my choice when the time comes. My daughter's have their favorites picked out already...I've had to hide a few for my sons. LOL
I only give quilts as gifts when I am with that person, therefore I always receive a thank you. If I won't "see" someone in person - I figure our relationship isn't close enough to gift them with a quilt - I write those people a check or purchase an item from the department stores.
I know my rules are a little harsh .... I've learned my lessons the hard way and now everyone plays by my rules.