Originally Posted by
lauriejo
I most definitely am very critical of my abilities. You would think that at 58 I would no longer hear my dad's voice in my head, but I do. If I didn't do something perfectly (even the first time) he would scream at me that I was stupid, a failure, couldn't do anything right, blah, blah, blah. It takes me a long time to work up the nerve to start a project and I usually only sew when I am alone so no one can see my mistakes. Quilting is especially intimidating since my mom's work was so beautiful.
I am so thankful to my parents for being the opposite--telling us we could do basically whatever we put our minds to...
But I'm seeing this kind of treatment around me and it does have an effect on the adult (even adults) who hears it. It seems like I spend days being a cheerleader saying, "You can do it!" or "You're pretty good at this." or "You can do anything--just have to learn how." (These comments directed towards a friend who sews but lacks confidence due to lack of any family/hubby support.)
I've often wondered what people think they gain by being hyper critical of others' efforts.