You have a gazillion hugs coming your way, if that helps then know that we all wish you success with whatever you decide to do. If I was faced with this I would cut away the binding, put on a new backing, STD, and then rebind it. Black fabrics are notoriously known for bleeding, shrinking and generally being a royal pain; however they also lend themselves to making such statements. Quilting on your machine isn't really as bad as you might think, yes it is difficult working with all that fabric; but if you take it slow you can do it. My first quilt was a king, it was a QAYG; but still had to be joined and I thought I go bonkers working with that size. Whatever you decide I wish you the very best, the impetus for doing all this is that your brother will cherish it for years.