This is not selfish at all. Make those memory quilts for you and your family members. I agree with the idea of making a special quilt in her memory but if you want to really make it a special charity ask your family members to pick out a fat quarter or make a block if they have the skill. Personally, I would not just donate this quilt to a charity to be given to someone that wouldn't really appreciate all the work but instead I would take this quilt to a charity that grandmother would approve and offer it for a silent auction. For instance, I support a cat rescue center that has a live web cam. There are people all over the world that watch these cats and chat with one another. Periodically, they will have an auction of crocheted afghans that have been made by viewers all over the world. These afghans raised a lot of money for the center. I have one that I purchased through this that was made by an Internet friend from England. She chatted with me a lot when my dad passed so its very special to me AND we both raised money for one of our favorite charities.