One thing that I have learned about being in your situation (and I have been in your situation many times sigh...) Stop picturing the books in your mind. I lost a quilt kit and could not find it anywhere. I thought someone had sneaked into my house and stole it. I could picture the kit in my mind; in a bag. A couple of years later I was cleaning out my sewing area and there it was! I had taken it out of the bag and put it in a shirt box. I still don't remember doing that. If I had stopped visualizing it as I remembered it, I would have found it much sooner. I hope this makes sense and good luck.