You've had lots of comfort & advice. I hope it helps you appreciate you for you. Hugs!
On the design side, if you haven't got electric quilt, get it. If that's too pricey or complicated, get quilt wizard.
Its the "junior" version same company just not as sophisticated.
Start playing with design. Put dif blocks together. Play and learn. I believe everyone is creative. Skill levels vary as do methods of expression.