I totally get that! The process is as important to the mind and soul as the task.
Like you, I can't quite grasp what those colors are doing, even though an accomplished artist tries to convey the concept. Without a visual, I am stymied with my choices, but I have found myself put off from some projects because of the designer's color choices, so there are plus and minuses to each and every proffered pattern.
I finally had to just do it, and then, if the pattern was pleasant or the technique was worth exploring further, I gave myself permission to keep doing the same thing over and over until I found a combination that seemed to capture my idea of "pretty".
I have one thing over most quilters, and that is - - I have a consistent, persistent outlet for my creations through the veterans' service organization I am associated with. My family supports my efforts, so I am surrounded with encouragement (even though ONE person isn't quite convinced that I am being the most efficient with time and resources by buying whole cloth, cutting it up, and sewing it back together again <g>)
Anyway, just keep track of this thread, take your time and it will be here for when you are ready to post your creations. <wave>