Personally, I think what you're already doing sounds doable and very nice.
Yes, Christmas shopping is stressful for busy people....or even people who are not busy who don't know what to buy. But it's also possible that you have a -- forgive me -- controlling child.
I have one, so I'm guessing from experience. Either way, you won't win if you don't go along, or at least compromise to the best of your ability. Maybe do it her way this year and go back to your way next year. These things aren't easy, I know. Good luck!