Originally Posted by
tenngal
Our family has increased quite a bit - 17 kids, grandkids, wives, husbands, and now 3 great grandchildren. They all make more money than we do. We've always bought all the food and done all the cooking, plus cash gifts or gift cards for adults & teens and presents for the little ones. I am worn out due to a sick husband and would like to STOP - except for the little ones. Can't get anyone else to agree, though. And, we sure don't need any gifts.
Wow that s a lot....I hope you and your husband feel better soon. Being a caregiver to someone is exhausting and can affect your health as well.
You know they can not stop you from doing your way..I assume dinner is at your house. Very soon like Thanksgiving or before you should tell all the adult children and adult grandchildren what part of dinner you are making and what you expect them to bring you can be specific, like bring the green beans we all love, or make aunt mabels sweet potatoes, or just say side dish or appatizer, rolls dessert. What ever part you want help with.
Then tell them due to your husbands health and your exhaustion you are only giving gifts to those that are 21 and under, or younger you choose the age. Then tell them Dad and I really have everything we need if you want to give us gifts, give us the gift of your time come help me decorate the house for the holidays , or bake or clean, or maybe come help us take everything down and put it away.....If they feel the need to spend money maybe they can get you a couple of hours with a local housekeeping service for after the holidays.
Remind them what it is about the holiday you truly love and value, family time, or your religious belief. Both maybe?
Assure them that they are more than welcome to give all the gifts to each other they want to give that it's ok you will not feel left out or cheated because your gift is having your family together and spending time with them.
They can not make you buy more gifts than you want to it may even be a little difficult to do the first time but they will get used to it and maybe actually feel a little less pressured to find the perfect gift in the correct price range.