Originally Posted by Knitette

Once again this year I've had requests for my vodka Christmas cake recipe so here goes. Please keep it in your files as I'm beginning to get tired of typing this up every year! (Made mine this morning!!!)
1 cup sugar, half pound butter, 1tsp baking powder, 1 cup water, 1tsp salt, 1cup brown sugar, lemon juice, 4 large eggs, nuts, 1....bottle vodka, 2 cups dried fruit, 4 cups flour.

Sample a cup of vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the vodka again to be sure it is of the highest quality, then repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it's best to make sure the vodka is still ok. Try another cup just in case.

Turn off the mixer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Pick rest of the fruit off the floor, wash it and put it in the bowl a piece at a time trying to count it. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the vodka to test for tonsisticity. Next sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the vodka. Now shit shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the flimmin’ window. Finish off the vodka and wipe the worktop with the flurry cat.....