It's so unfair that the "Boob Fairy" doesn't come until we're long past wishing we had any, and they do tend to get in the way -- ie. trying to drink something in a stemmed glass while sitting down.
As for the 'round the waist part ... I seem to remember buying this narrow, stiff flat white fabric-covered-plastic to use as a shaper in the top of those thread bins made of fabric. I also used it when making a nursing cover. Would that be strong enough to put around the waist to hold it in a bit? How about if it were doubled. What we need is a giant "slap" bracelet like the kids used to wear. There's got to be something out there that would work.