I have a very GIVING friend who does a lot of nice things for people. She will NOT allow anybody to give back to her. She says it makes her feel GOOD to "DO" for others... so I told HER.... it makes ME feel good to give to her. I told her she is depriving ME of that GOOD feeling that she enjoys so much.. That stopped her in her tracks..... so now when she starts to balk at me taking her to lunch or giving her $$ for gas for the road trip we just took - I just remind her she is depriving me of feeling good. As a quilter - part of the FUN is fabric shopping - so in essence your wife and friends (while intensions are GOOD!) are depriving you of ONE of the joys of quilting.... stated simply - this might work for you! good luck !!