Originally Posted by
quiltingcandy
It really does fall on the instructor or the "enablers" to deal with the situation. When I was an instructor and a mentor I had to learn there are these people in every class. So when they interrupt, if I am in the middle of a training there is a chance someone else has the same question so answer the question as best I could. If we were is a part that required them to do something, I would walk around and see if anyone needed assistance. In a sewing situation and a person has to un-sew, then I would say I will be back when you have finished taking out what needed to be undone, just raise your hand so I know when you are ready. It took me a while to learn to instruct and not do for someone. If people are doing it for her, then she won't learn. If she asks someone to do it for her then they need to say no - she has to do it in order to learn.
No one needs to be rude, they just need to instruct rather than do for her. Once she finds out no one is going to do it for her, she will either leave or learn to do it herself. If you are not the instructor, then direct her to the instructor for assistance. She may have to wait but again, she will learn or leave.
this is excellent advice and every instructor should include these "tools" in their repertoire. If the problem is a 4 day retreat without any class included, then all of your should do basically these same things--nicely but clearly "letting" her fend for herself and limiting the help to helping, not doing. Perhaps part of the problem is that some of you find it hard to say no? I was at a retreat with this type of person and since no one would drop their project and do her's for her, she basically did not get much done. Will she go again? Who knows? If she does maybe she just likes to hang out with us!