I agree with Divo, I would see if the leader would talk to the group before going to retreat. Does she have any one friend in the group that could help her one on one? " You said She needs to take care of it herself and not expect others to stop and help her." She might have learned that before quilting-expecting others to just stop what there doing and help her. Sometimes people have to learn the hard way if you, explain in the right way, she might understand that some of us started out on our own. That know one just one day cut out our our pieces and said make a quilt. This coming from someone that can't measure with rulers but can still quilt. The point is her making the quilt makes it hers and tell her if you do it, it defeats the purpose of her making it.